Uppity Wisconsin

Those who follow this space closely will know that we, from time to time, scout around and see what the other members of my blogging community are up to. The "Blogpower" bloggers are primarily based in the UK, but others are located in the US, Canada, Australia, Italy...and even the Sudan. We’ll see how they reacted to the US elections—and we’ll discover that while many are happy, it’s not all strawberries and cream out there. We’ll meet the happy, we’ll meet the silly—and we’ll meet the not-so-very-happy as well. So with that said, let’s head over to the UK, shall we?

"When as the rye reach to the chin, And chopcherry, chopcherry, ripe within, Strawberties swimming in the cream, And schoolboys playing in the stream..." --George Peele, “The Old Wives Tale”

Not quite 100 miles north of London, and roughly 100 miles west of Amsterdam lies a whole bunch of lovely farm country, which includes Norfolk, where the "Norfolk Blogger" is one of the happy.

There are but three days to go, Gentle Reader, and the McCain campaign is now down to fear and Joe The Plumber. Those who seek to spread The Fear are resorting to fantastic schemes and amazing leaps of logic in an effort to find something to make The Fear rise in voters. But to be honest, the crazy speculation lacks…imagination. I believe I can present crazy speculation that is at least as interesting as what they’ve put out—and funnier to boot—and with that and the Halloween just past in mind we present the final weekend edition of the 2008 campaign cycle's blogging. So, ya wanna hear a few debunked made up rumors that, frankly, have a lot more creative style? Here’s a good one, to get things started: Obama does not plan to increase employment by having the Department of Health and Human Services purchase hundreds of mobile medical vans that he will staff with pro-choice doctors and nurses so they can drive around the country and perform mobile abortions by night while teaching sex education to kindergarteners by day. The rumor that Nicholas Sarkozy is planning to resign as President of France so that he can become Governor of West Virginia after Obama renames it West By God France is, sadly, untrue. Obama will not rip off a fake rubber head o

When last we met, Gentle Reader, we were talking about more or less $150,000 in clothing and beauty services that had been purchased mostly for Sarah Palin’s use by the Republican National Committee. Since then, we have learned that John McCain himself once tried to outlaw the very type of contribution that led to this situation, we’ve heard McCain’s campaign offer a very non-maverick-y denial...and we’ve learned that the highest paid member of the McCain campaign staff—the person who presumably has the magic touch needed to turn this thing around—will be working her magic with a makeup brush. As we discussed yesterday, I think I could have dressed Palin for 1/3 of what the RNC paid. Yesterday we “purchased” five of the outfits I think she needs...and with half the shopping done, we’re $670 over budget. Can she be dressed for a mere $43,000? Let’s see if we can pull it off...

So you’re the Governor of a State...but the next thing you know, you’re running for Vice President. The boss says you gotta bling up the ol’ Governor clothes—and the next thing you know, you’re having to explain how you can be the common “hockey mom” from Wasilla and how you can be clothed in more than enough money to buy Joe The Plumber’s house...both at the same time. In the interests of telling the story fairly, I decided to conduct my own online shopping experiment. Let’s head over to Saks and Neiman’s...and Bergdorf and Goodman’s to boot...and let’s just find out exactly what you would need to spend to look fabulous—and what you should probably be avoiding if you really want to project that whole “woman of the people” kind of thing.

The McCain campaign is beyond desperate, at this point, and as you might expect, the emails are full of things McCain supporters would like us to know. I had one of those emails cross my inbox yesterday morning...and I thought to myself: “Self...since the author of this email asked me to look up her facts, maybe I should.” So I did. Next thing I knew, I realized I was looking at a giant load of hooey. Follow along, and I’ll show you what I mean. There’s a lot of talk about Obama and Tony Rezko in this email. That Rezko made some sort of special deal when Obama purchased his home. Here’s Obama’s side of the story:

Barack Obama bought his home the same way everyone buys a home, by making the best offer the sellers had. The details are that of a normal, boring real estate transaction by a young family buying the house they expect to raise children in. A couple named the Wondisford's had two properties on the market, a house and an adjacent lot. Barack and Michelle Obama made the best offer on the house, which had been on the market for 8 months. Before the purchase, Obama asked Rezko, a local real estate developer, and for some advice on the purchase. While there, Rezko noticed the adjacent lot and decided to buy it.

Barack Obama is a Threat To America, we are told, because he served on a board of directors and had other contacts with William Ayers, who, in the 1960s, was, or was not, involved in terrorist acts for which he was never convicted of any crimes. So imagine how serious of a Threat To America we would have if, last month, one of the two candidates hired someone to lead their transition team—the person who would recommend who should be selected for every appointed office of the new Administration—who, at the time of the 9/11 attacks, actually worked for Saddam Hussein...and who ended up working for him for five years. Well, one of the candidates did, and I’ll give you a hint: it wasn’t Obama. Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s time to meet William E.

Every morning lately, we have turned anxiously to the news to see if financial markets are in freefall...and some days, they actually are. Governments across the world have responded over the past two weeks--including a massive commitment by the United States Treasury that is, to say the least, highly controversial to the American voter. As this is being written markets are opening in Asia. At the moment things are somewhat stable, and except for Shanghai and Taiwan, they’re heading upward. During the writing process, Europe has opened, and there are gains there today as well. The US credit markets did not open today (although the stock markets did) because of the Columbus Day holiday—but anyone who recalls Mr. Dow’s Wild Ride last Friday is quite nervous ahead of the Tuesday opening. Despite all that bailout stuff we’re hearing about, confidence doesn’t seem to be returning to the markets.

So the second debate is in the books, my friends, and it seems that McCain is not getting out the message as well as he might wish. I have no doubt that some of the problem is related to McCain’s policies as he presents them...but to be completely honest, there may be an additional factor. To put it as bluntly as possible: McCain looks a little...creepy. And it’s not just me: The Girlfriend was mentioning how creepy he looked in the debate as we talked about it this morning. Ask around, and someone might describe him that way to you. Why is that so, how is this observation going to affect McCain going forward; and most important of all...how does this connect to the Burger King and the design of video game characters? To help answer the question, let me introduce you to Dr. Masahiro Mori. In the 1970s, Dr. Mori, a Japanese roboticist, used psychological research to develop a theory that has become known as the “Uncanny Valley”. To make a long story short, Dr.

It has been an extraordinarily bad week for John McCain, what with his interest in Sarah Palin’s boobs apparently keeping him from being sufficiently aware of the “fundamental soundness” of the economy...but luckily for McCain, the news cycle turns; and a hotel bombing in Pakistan might be the opening his campaign thinks it needs. With that in mind, expect the next week leading up to Friday’s Presidential debate to be full of references to McCain’s favorite subject...“the transcendent challenge of our time—Islamofascism”...or something eerily similar. His campaign is convinced this is the strongest place for him to make his argument for election—but what if it is not? As we anticipate what is coming next from McCain, let’s remind ourselves just how much of a foreign policy expert McCain really is—and let’s do it using McCain’s own words.

With roughly 50 days to go, we find ourselves more or less tied in the Presidential election, if the national polls are to be believed. We have succeeded in motivating our base, and Republicans have, as of today, done the same. What we are not doing very well is bridging that gap and effectively spreading the discussion to the other side...which is the point of today’s conversation. Where can our conservative friends be found? What do we need to know about the culture to be found there? What should we say when we get there? Your friendly fake consultant has been on a mission...and I have some answers. First, about the “mission”: for the past several months I have been posting and commenting at the Pat Buchanan website. This follows up on a similar mission I undertook in 2006 and 2007 to post and comment at RedState. It has been an educational experience, indeed...but also a hopeful one. Right off the bat, let’s talk about the culture.

Well, it is easy to tell it’s September. BBQ smoke hangs thickly in the air, the rain is getting cooler than it usually is in the summertime, and the Mariners are securely in last place. And it is also time to return to school. For the new voter about to enter (or return to) College, all the crazy living can make you forget about important things, like...oh, I don’t know...maybe an election or two. To make sure this does not happen I’m going to put College and Politics together to create this year’s first...wait for it...synchronized Sarah Palin drinking game. So start pairing up your shotglasses, find the Scotch tape, and when you get back I’ll tell you how it works. OK...so here’s what’s going to happen: You’re going to make “pairs” of glasses that will have Sarah Palin’s “official story” on one glass, and Sarah Palin’s matching flip-flop on the other...which you can find right here...so print this story, cut out the strips, apply a bit of tape, and you’re on your way. Put them in a shoebox, and at the beginning of the game players pick one at random. (Or if you prefer, pick teammates...) When you hear one of the pair on the TV, both glasses have to drink...in a synchronized manner.

The Media will be abuzz today with the surprise of John McCain’s choice of Sarah Palin as his Vice Cheney candidate.

But there’s some dirt hiding under the rug...

What is the history...who does she support...and when she talks about “open and transparent” government, what does that mean?

Put your snow boots on, people...and let’s have a look...

Let’s start with the milk business. Matanuska Maid, the State’s largest dairy, was owned and operated by the State from 1985 to 2007, basically to provide an outlet for the State’s eight dairies and to provide a local source of milk. Unfortunately, the Dairy has been losing money, requiring the State to basically subsidize the industry by operating a money-losing buyer for the locally-produced product....and providing loans to the local dairies.

Once a year the professional golf community comes to visit my neck of the woods, in the form of the PGA’s Champion’s Tour.

It’s an event that changes the character of the community in several ways: spectators swell the size of the town, there’s a media focus that usually doesn’t exist...and an actual, no kidding, traffic jam might develop—on a weekend.

It’s a great economic barometer, as well. Despite the efforts of the Professional Golfers Association (the PGA), there is a lot more of an upper-income demographic attending the tournament than there is a Happy Gilmore kind of crowd.

Which brings me to the point of today’s examination: what can we learn about the state of the economy from the perspective of the tricklers, as opposed to how it looks from the point of view of the trickled upon?

I’m supposed to be finishing another story tonight, but I’ve just come from Darcy Burner’s primary night party...and I have in front of me the results of the important races tonight in Washington’s newfangled “top two” primary.

It is unfair to extrapolate the results of elections in the “People’s Republic of Washington” directly onto a national map, but as I look as these results it seems fair to say that if any Republican strategists aren’t sweating bullets this morning it’s because they’ll be hustling for votes in towns like Maggie Valley, North Carolina (don’t forget to stop by Saratoga’s for the Wednesday night jazz...)...or, perhaps, Bessemer Bend, Wyoming.

For the rest of the Republican community, tonight’s events are not good news.

We have a fair amount to cover, so let’s get to it.

For those who did not know, I’m a contract worker; and as a result I’m a direct beneficiary of the trend toward outsourcing.

And let me tell you, everyone’s doing it. At different times I’ve worked for school districts, a company that makes tax preparation software, agencies of State Government...even the Navy.

So it was no surprise when I found out from the agency that I was to be assigned to a Human Resources Department to help with the overflow of employee evaluations that needed to be completed—and it was no surprise when they told me the job was like working in Hell.

I was a bit surprised, however, when it turned out they were telling the literal truth...and that’s how I came to spend last week as a temp in Satan’s HR Department—vetting John McCain for his annual evaluation.

As surprising as it might seem, Satan’s actually not a bad boss. The dress code is casual—in fact, shorts are just fine: “on hot days”, as the joke went around the office. Dirty jokes at the office? Oh, they were all over that...and I don’t mind telling you that having been in that environment, I understand how flinging around the “C-word” can bring a sudden end to the lunch conversation.